People always tease me about my lack of organizational skills, and honestly...I can't deny it. If you gave me a list of numbers and told me to add them up I probably wouldn't get the same answer ten times in a row. It's the way I'm wired. I'm honestly just not a person who thinks about all the details, or has everything figured out three steps in advance. People know this and it makes them smile. It usually makes them shake their heads a little too and pray for a wife for me. I've gotten used to it.
Lately though, I've been thinking that maybe my unique way of doing things (that sounds much better than “lack of organizational skills”) works in my favour on occasion. Let's take my current ministry as an example. When people find out that I work and live in a house with ten ex-street guys, that I'm the guy who's figuring out the funding and actually trying to keep it all together...they seem...surprised.
Yea, well...me too. I've definitely had moments of wondering how exactly I ended up where I am today, being “Dad” to these guys. You know...it's sort of a long term commitment. It seems I may be down here for awhile. I wish I could tell you how I had this all worked out in my head beforehand, how I did feasibility studies and had budgets and all that stuff figured out before I ventured in.
That'd be great, eh?
The truth is, I knew this group of guys and I cared about them. God put it on my heart to help them. I knew they wanted the chance to study and get an education, and I could see that they needed help along the way. They've had a lot of garbage thrown at them in the past, and they needed someone to come alongside them and help them figure out how to deal with it.
Did I have any money? Nope. Did I know anything about the Bolivian education system? Nope. Did I have a clue what it would be like living with ten ex-street kids and what that might entail? That would be nope and...yea, another nope.
A more organized, detail oriented person may or may not have walked to the edge of that precipice. At any rate, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have done it with such a goofy grin on their face. They probably would have seen some of the struggles and difficulties inherent in running a ministry like this coming.
I, on the other hand, am the guy standing with his toes over the edge of the cliff, admiring the view.
My friend once told me that she thought I was a person who lived in the moment. I was vaguely offended until she explained that this wasn't a bad thing. It's true that my planning for the future will never be my greatest gift. My retirement plan is Jesus coming back. And it's true that I'm not exactly a detail guy. Every three months they turn our power off for a day because I forget to pay the power bill.
But, as my friend explained, living in the moment means you see what's going on around you. You see where people are at, what they're feeling...what they're experiencing. And when you see them in need or see them in pain, with God’s help, you do something to alleviate that suffering.
Well...whether that's true or not, it sounds nice and it made me feel good. God's definitely wired me in a way that causes me to empathize with the people around me. Maybe it's just as well that I don't think things through too much. I think for me, it’d be too easy to get bogged down with the “What if’s?” and the “How’s THAT gonna work?” In my experience, God has those details well in hand.
This is all not to say that there’s no plan here. There’s a plan. Contrary to popular opinion, I’m not completely oblivious. =) I do think about the future, and I do get excited about what God has purposed for us. I may not always know exactly how I’m going to get there, but I’m confident that God is leading. The name of this ministry, “La Jornada...The Journey” was chosen for a reason. It’s not just about the guys’ journeys...it’s about my journey as well.
We’re all learning and growing as we go. Down here we'll continue to do our best to seek God's direction and trust that He has the details worked out. Our job is to pay attention and be faithful to how God directs us. I've told people many times that one of the things I love the most about living down here is that you're never quite sure what the day will bring. I think someone once said, “The journey is half the fun...”
That’s been my experience...
Lately though, I've been thinking that maybe my unique way of doing things (that sounds much better than “lack of organizational skills”) works in my favour on occasion. Let's take my current ministry as an example. When people find out that I work and live in a house with ten ex-street guys, that I'm the guy who's figuring out the funding and actually trying to keep it all together...they seem...surprised.
Yea, well...me too. I've definitely had moments of wondering how exactly I ended up where I am today, being “Dad” to these guys. You know...it's sort of a long term commitment. It seems I may be down here for awhile. I wish I could tell you how I had this all worked out in my head beforehand, how I did feasibility studies and had budgets and all that stuff figured out before I ventured in.
That'd be great, eh?
The truth is, I knew this group of guys and I cared about them. God put it on my heart to help them. I knew they wanted the chance to study and get an education, and I could see that they needed help along the way. They've had a lot of garbage thrown at them in the past, and they needed someone to come alongside them and help them figure out how to deal with it.
Did I have any money? Nope. Did I know anything about the Bolivian education system? Nope. Did I have a clue what it would be like living with ten ex-street kids and what that might entail? That would be nope and...yea, another nope.
A more organized, detail oriented person may or may not have walked to the edge of that precipice. At any rate, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have done it with such a goofy grin on their face. They probably would have seen some of the struggles and difficulties inherent in running a ministry like this coming.
I, on the other hand, am the guy standing with his toes over the edge of the cliff, admiring the view.
My friend once told me that she thought I was a person who lived in the moment. I was vaguely offended until she explained that this wasn't a bad thing. It's true that my planning for the future will never be my greatest gift. My retirement plan is Jesus coming back. And it's true that I'm not exactly a detail guy. Every three months they turn our power off for a day because I forget to pay the power bill.
But, as my friend explained, living in the moment means you see what's going on around you. You see where people are at, what they're feeling...what they're experiencing. And when you see them in need or see them in pain, with God’s help, you do something to alleviate that suffering.
Well...whether that's true or not, it sounds nice and it made me feel good. God's definitely wired me in a way that causes me to empathize with the people around me. Maybe it's just as well that I don't think things through too much. I think for me, it’d be too easy to get bogged down with the “What if’s?” and the “How’s THAT gonna work?” In my experience, God has those details well in hand.
This is all not to say that there’s no plan here. There’s a plan. Contrary to popular opinion, I’m not completely oblivious. =) I do think about the future, and I do get excited about what God has purposed for us. I may not always know exactly how I’m going to get there, but I’m confident that God is leading. The name of this ministry, “La Jornada...The Journey” was chosen for a reason. It’s not just about the guys’ journeys...it’s about my journey as well.
We’re all learning and growing as we go. Down here we'll continue to do our best to seek God's direction and trust that He has the details worked out. Our job is to pay attention and be faithful to how God directs us. I've told people many times that one of the things I love the most about living down here is that you're never quite sure what the day will bring. I think someone once said, “The journey is half the fun...”
That’s been my experience...
3 comments:
Thanks James! I appreciate that. I only wish I was half as smart as you and Bryce though. =) I guess that's why you guys are the Senior Pastors and I'm just a lowly missionary. Ha ha...
Have a great Thanksgiving buddy! I'm missing family this weekend, but I did get invited to what will be a very good Thanksgiving supper...so that helps. =)
If you had the nervous forethought of most people you would never, ever have the experiences you do. You probably wouldn't have rocked the Asquith job (just followed the rules), certainly wouldn't have taken a bunch of teens to Jamaica...more than once. And definitely would not have influenced us the way you did. I like your retirement plan...but you KNOW Jesus is going to wait just long enough for you to move into one of our basements. Your "fly by the seat of your pants" attitude has made my life far richer my friend. xo
I thank God He made us all different! I also thank God He is using you, the unique you, to serve Him and His precious Bolivian children! Keep pressing on in the way you know how to do it!
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