Jack Black in Uganda

Obviously the culture and poverty situations are different between Uganda and Bolivia.  But the stories are similar.  This video really speaks to what we're trying to do down here...

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My mom....

My mom stole a car once.  

She took her three boys along and invited the neighbour lady and her three kids to join her.  A couple of days later the RCMP showed up and she invited them in for coffee.  But they still made her give it back.

Honestly my mom isn't like anyone else I know.  She's an eastern girl who got dumped into the middle of the prairies where there wasn't a tree that met her approval for 200 miles.  My siblings and I knew that we didn't dare try to talk to her for the first few hours of the return trip to Saskatchewan after visiting Ontario...not if we valued our lives in any way.  I'm pretty sure dad knew that rule too.

Somewhere along the way though (perhaps somewhat reluctantly), mom decided that the prairies were home.  She planted trees around the yard...which against all odds lived...and buckled down to raise her family.

If you know us at all, you've probably learned quickly that we’re not your usual family.  

I have nine siblings.  

It's kind of like our own personal version of the United Nations.  I have a nephew who has corn rolls in his hair.  And nieces who are Native, Irish and East Indian...all mixed together in very cute packages.   One of my favourite moments was when my African brother-in-law (who's a musician and the only talented one in the bunch) gave a shout out to his family during one of his concerts and the whitest people in the crowd waved back.

When I worked at the boys' home here in Bolivia, I used to laugh because eating supper with 80 ex-street kids was quieter and less chaotic than meal times with my family in Canada.  My mom can throw together a meal for thirty (and that's just my siblings, their spouses and their kids) like no one else I know. 

I don't think I ever laugh as hard or get as annoyed or enjoy my days as much as when I'm hanging out with my family.  And in the middle of the chaos that are our family get together’s...there's my mom.  We all love our dad and he fixes our cars...but it's mom who holds the entire gong show together. 

At some point I should probably mention that mom doesn't just take care of us.  She's been taking in foster kids for the better part of thirty years and at any given moment there are usually a couple (or seven) little kids running around the house in various stages of undress and/or diapers. 

She's...ahem...70-ish...and middle of the night bottle feedings don't phase her in the least.  Sorry all my new-born mom friends…but it’s true.

Well...let's see...lessons from my mom... 

Number one is that anyone who sits at the table is treated as a member of the family.  The downside is that they have to move quickly if they want to eat.  The upside is that they're treated with love and respect and will receive the same lectures as the rest of us.

No matter what a person has done or not done, there's always grace and forgiveness.  There will likely be the aforementioned lecture...but tempered with said grace and forgiveness.

Life is nothing without the occasional adventure. 

There's nothing that can't be built or knocked down if you're creative enough and don't really care what it looks like after the fact.  If you don't like a wall in the house, wait until your husband goes hunting and then take a sledge hammer to it. 

There's as much value in a hand drawn picture in a cheap Walmart frame, drawn by a foster child, as there is in a valuable antique painting and they should hang side by side on the wall.

If you have to turn right in twenty seven blocks, it's okay to get into the right hand lane as soon as possible and come what may (be that buses that stop every block or a hundred other cars making slow right hand turns) you ride that sucker to the end. 

I'm not sure if that last one was so much a lesson as it was an observation from a son who sat in the passenger seat for too many years.

In the end, the most important lesson I've learned from my mom is that God is love.  I know this because I've seen it in my mom.  Every person, no matter their age, colour or background or mistakes they've made, has been created by God and deserves our love, encouragement, dignity and help. 

Both my parents taught me early on that there's no request for assistance from a friend, neighbour or stranger that shouldn't be met with a smile and a "Sure, what can I do?"  If I've ever seen the verse, "They'll know us by our love" personified in a person, it's in my mom.

All of those lessons have served me very well over the years.  Well, except for the driving in the right hand lane one.  That one drives me crazy.  But the rest is why I do what I do. 

The example that my mom (and my dad) set for us growing up is why every kid that comes into our house here is a part of our family and treated as such. 

It's why, when I see a need, my first thought is what can I do to help meet that need. 

It's why I want to provide a family for these guys who have never known a loving, Godly family…because my mom (and again my dad) provided this for me.

So Mom…here’s to you.  Happy Mother’s Day!  You deserve it.  

You really are the best mom a guy could ever ask for or have.  Thanks for loving all of us and being such a great example.  We all love you more than we could ever tell you.  

Well...not that I would probably even try to tell you (at least in person) because, after all, I am a male member of the Switzer family and Dad’s gene won out in the desire to avoid the touchy/feely stuff.  

This is also why the guys and I punch each other (as do my brothers and I) as demonstrations of our love and affection for each other…

Well, Mom….this is all just to say…

I miss you and I love you lots!  Hope you have a wonderful day!  

Lots of love!

Ken

PS  I really do wish I was there to give you a hug and some flowers or something.  Although, I did send a present home with the family that was just here because I’m the eldest and the most thoughtful and, of course, your favourite.  

I know that you can’t admit that because you are such a great mom….but we both know it’s true.

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Life.

My friend Corina sent out an update letter the other day and she shared a story about her son, Keiden.  She wrote how he usually has a nap in her office during the afternoon on a little mattress in the corner.  She props the door open so he can leave when he wakes up. 

The other day she heard him start to scream in fear, "MOMMY!!"  So she ran to her office to find out what was wrong.  Tears overflowing, he said, “I couldn’t open (snif, snif) the door."  "But, sweetheart!!! I was right here!!!  All you had to do was call Mommy and I’d come and open the door!!”  She said a little light went on in his head, "Oh yeah...."

 

Then she wrote, "It made me think… how often, when we don’t know what to do or something is beyond our control, are we are overcome by worry… paralyzed by our fears?  And our Heavenly Father kindly speaks, 'But dear child!  I was right here… all you had to do was call…'”

 

That really resounded with me when I read it.  Some of you know the challenges we've been facing down here lately.  Situations that cause me to feel a little panicked and make it hard to breath some days. 

 

But in the midst of everything that's happening, when I remember to step back and just ask God to open the door...He does. 

 

A couple of things you can pray about with us...

 

There's a young guy who used to live with us, Ruddy, who's facing a difficult family time.   Many of you know him.  His mom is pretty sick and isn't doing very well.  I've been spending a lot of time walking that road with him, trying to help prepare him for the eventuality that she might not be here much longer.  It's tough because he really doesn't have anyone else. 

 

Even in the midst of the tears and emotion that goes with that, it's been cool to see God at work.  Ruddy has an older brother who lives in Argentina who they haven't seen in probably two or three years.  It's been over a year since they talked to him (the number they have for him doesn't work).  Yesterday Ruddy was in tears because his mom keeps asking for this brother but Ruddy didn't know how to contact him.  He wrote a message to a friend who lives in Argentina to let the brother know they were trying to contact him, but this friend only checks his Facebook every month or so.  Ruddy was thinking about going to try and find his brother but he was afraid his mom would die while he was gone.  He was feeling completely overwhelmed by trying to figure out what to do.

 

We talked about it, and in the middle of the tears I tried to encourage him to focus on the moment and what needed to happen right now...and to trust God with the rest.  Then we prayed that his brother would get in contact with them.  On my drive home I threw in a little more prayer and really asked God to help them make that connection.

 

Ten minutes after I got home, Ruddy called.  He was so emotional I couldn't figure out what we were talking about at first.  Then I understood...his brother had called.  After over a year.  You really can't fault God's timing.  Ruddy needed to know that he wasn't alone on this journey and that God was listening.  So God showed him. 

 

We call out and God listens.

 

As well, a couple of weeks ago the owner of the house asked for a meeting.  Turns out they want to sell the house (after telling us this year that we could have it as long as we needed).  They're going to honour our contract which gives us until February to figure something out.  That may seem like a long time, but it's really not.  We had a tough time finding the house we're in, and I haven't seen many other places that would suit us as well.  But having said that, I'm not overly worried.  I have no doubt there will be some challenges involved, but God has proven himself incredibly faithfully up to this point...so I certainly have no reason to think that's going to change. 

 

At this point we feel like our next step is to try and build...as crazy and overwhelming as that seems some days.  But we've had plans for a few years now and it seems like the time.  I'll have more info soon on that for those of you who are interested.

 

There are other situations...some are pretty serious (panic, can't breath inducing), but through it all God is showing His faithfulness.  I get frustrated with the guys and God moves in one of them to do something thoughtful and mature and they all get to live another day.  I get overwhelmed by the number of needs here and how to try and meet them and then God changes my heart and helps me to understand that it's not by my strength but by His.  We call and He listens.

 

Thanks again for praying everyone.  When you pray it really does make a difference down here. 

 

Check back here in the next couple of days because I might have some pretty cool news to share!  =) 

 

Yimy's a few blocks away in the truck so I have to go.  Just gonna leave it at that for now...

 

 

 

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My pastors....

I've said it before and I'll say it again, God has given us an amazing church down here. It's a church that stands out from most other churches I know. I remember back when I first started going there five or six years ago...I didn't always understand much of what was being said, but I always left with a sense of God's presence...like I'd met with God's Spirit.

And that's still the case today. I never have to work at convincing the guys to get up for church on Sunday morning. They enjoy it as much as I do. I think they probably have better friends there than I do.  They seem to know everyone.  =)

A big part of why we love Kairos so much is the leadership of our pastors, Jorge and Tonchy. They're two young guys (brother-in-laws) who really love God and who really love people. It shows in everything they do. They're gifted speakers, amazing musicians and just all around fun guys.

Last November they recorded some of Tonchy's music (a lot of what we sing at Kairos are original songs that Tonchy has written). They video taped the recording session and put together a little documentary.

It's just over half an hour (and in Spanish), but if you're a musician or you just want to listen to some great Spanish music, give this a listen to. Trust me, you won't be disappointed. It's just Jorge on accoustic guitar and Tonchy singing (Caronport people...pay attention to what Tonchy is playing...look familiar?).

Sit back and enjoy. This is what we're blessed with every Sunday...

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"Can you promise me I'll come back?"

I went to see “The Hobbit” the other day.  I’m a bit of a fan, shall we say, of the whole “Lord of the Rings” universe.  I have all the LOTR figurines (not dolls as some uninformed friends want to call them) and I’ve seen the movies more times than I’m willing to admit in public.  So you can imagine how I’ve been anticipating “The Hobbit” since the day they announced they were making it.

Happily I wasn’t disappointed.  It was everything I’d hoped it would be.  I even saw it again a few days later in 3D.  In Spanish this time mind you…but still amazing.

In each of the LOTR movies there’s always a scene that sticks with me.  It’s not the big battle scene or the scene with the most special effects.  It’s usually a scene that resounds inside of me for some reason.

The same thing happened in this movie and you might be surprised at what it was that stuck with me.

Near the beginning of the story, Bilbo receives a visit from Gandalf the wizard.  Gandalf invites him to go on a grand adventure which Bilbo quickly and summarily dismisses.  Bilbo, you see, is a Hobbit, and Hobbits are generally happy and content with the predictability of their lives.  They don’t relish anyone or anything that might disrupt the peacefulness and tranquility they enjoy.  Bilbo was no exception. 

Then something happens to Bilbo.  Dwarves start arriving at his doorstep.  Rowdy, excited (and hungry) dwarves.  They turn his tiny, uncluttered house upside down with their singing and dancing, eating and just general revelry.  It about drives poor Bilbo crazy. 

Gandalf eventually returns and quite enjoys the party that has invaded Bilbo’s quiet little home and the discomfort it’s caused Bilbo.  Later in the evening when things have calmed down somewhat, he again presses Bilbo to accompany this band of dwarves on the mission they’ve set before themselves. 

Bilbo looks at Gandalf and then asks this question.

“Can you promise me I’ll come back?”

To which Gandalf replies, “No, and if you do, you will not be the same.”

Bilbo thinks for a moment and then once again declines the invitation.

Everyone eventually falls asleep until the next morning when Bilbo awakens expecting to be surrounded by the same chaos that filled his house the night before.  What he finds, however, is that his perfect little house and life has been restored to him.  Everything is neatly in its place and the house is once again quiet and ordered.

As Bilbo walks from silent room to silent room you can see him contemplating the situation.  His life is as it was…serene, peaceful and uncomplicated. 

The next thing you know (and this is the part I love), he’s tearing out of his house running after the band of dwarves.  He’s jumping over fences and running down quiet lanes, past his diligent, hardworking neighbours who look at him like he’s lost his mind.

And of course, he has. 

Well, maybe not his whole mind…just that part of it that yearned for a life of safety and security.  Until that moment, Bilbo’s whole existence had been about maintaining that sense of predictability.  Then in a flash, that safe, secure and peaceful world was completely and utterly disrupted.

Bilbo was given a gift that many people never receive.  For a moment he was shown a world that wasn’t safe.  It wasn’t secure or orderly.  It certainly wasn't predictable.  There was singing and dancing and plates flying through the air. 

In that moment, Bilbo realized that what he had mistaken for chaos and frivolity in his guests was really a sense purpose and adventure. 

These dwarves knew they were each a part of something greater than themselves and because of that, they were willing to step out into the unknown.  They were prepared to live lives that would be unpredictable and sometimes dangerous.  They knew that win or lose their lives had meaning and significance and that gave them a great sense of joy.

When Bilbo caught a glimpse of that there was no going back.  He knew that the complacency of his earlier life could not compare to the adventure that had been placed before him.

I remember when I had that same experience.  There was no singing or dancing or plates being tossed through the air (I wish).  But I knew I didn’t want to live a life centered around being safe and secure.  I had no idea where that life would lead me (certainly not to South America to a country I would have been hard pressed to find on a map), but I was willing to step out into the unknown because I knew I was a part of something that was so much greater than who I was on my own.

My heart’s desire is that each of us should have that same moment.  That moment when we catch a glimpse of the life God is calling us to.  It’s not a life of complacency or security or predictability.  It’s a life of uncertainty and disorder and sometimes danger.  It’s also a life of joy and adventure and significance. 

“Can you promise me I’ll come back?” asked Bilbo.

“No,” replied Gandalf, “and if you do, you will not be the same.” 

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Roberto's Grad!

A couple of weeks ago we celebrated the gradutation of our first university graduate! Roberto graduated from law school. So I officially have a lawyer...who I will never pay...for the rest of my life. =)

It was a good night...

Roberto with his family...

Roberto with me and the guys!

 

Our table...

 

Our plate of snack food...

So funny story...even though there's a meal included with the grad, it's always the custom to have plates of snack food for the guests, provided by the family. We usually go the potato chips, peanuts, a few chocolates and some banana chips route. It's pretty standard and has been fine for all the other grads we've been involved with.

Kind of forgot this was a law school graduation. Most of the families were a little more upper crust, shall we say, than us.

As I walked in and saw the other tables, I was like..."Oops."

There were full meals spread out. Fried chicken, empanadas, little finger foods...things I didn't even recognize....

So I dumped what we had, grabbed Andres and Jose Manuel and took off for the nearest grocery store. It was too late to do much, but we bought a big block of cheese and some olives and some fancy rich people crackers.

I have some very funny pictures on my phone of us cutting up the cheese into little cubes in the cab of my truck (I had to buy a knife and a cutting board). Also turned out I was the only one there who liked olives. But they seemed like something you would put on a fancy, law school grad platter of snack foods.

I did enjoy them...

Roberto walking in with his mom.

 

With the diploma!

Many Bolivians tend not to smile in pictures or in more serious situations. They can sometimes look a little severe. That was the case with Roberto's mom (and most of his family). Roberto was pretty serious too during the prossesional.

But I got some smiles out of him once he was up on the platform...

Liking that diploma!

It was pretty classy. As I mentioned...

 

The graduating class of 2012!

Lots of congratulations!

Roberto with his Grandma.

 

Awkward hugs between brothers...

 

With his younger sister...

 

Roberto with his mom and siblings.

Yea...there's not a single picture where they're all looking the same direction.

It was a pretty cool night. We've been looking forward to this for a long time. I actually got a little weepy when I saw Roberto up at the front. Of course, weepy for me is maybe not the same as weepy for other people...but I was still kind of emotional. It was exciting moment!

Roberto's mom was emotional too. I'd only met her one other time. She lives a long ways up into the mountains and the last time I saw her was eight years ago when she came to visit Roberto and his brother at the home I used to work at and where they lived.

Everytime she was near me, she gave me a big hug and thanked me again for everything I'd done. It was nice, but I just kept thinking that this was so much bigger than anything I'd done. It was also our church family here in Santa Cruz...it was the people that support us from North America...it was the people around the world who pray for us.

And most of all it was God who protected this kid and brought him to this place. It was amazing to be one small part in the plans and purposes that God has for Roberto. I'm excited to see where he goes from here.

And a huge thanks to all of you for your part in this process. Many of you have never met Roberto and yet you faithfully give and pray so that he has the opportunity to change the direction of not only his life, but of his family as well.

So yea...thank you!

I have no doubt that is just the first graduation of many to come!

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Motorbikes and city buses and what God does...

A couple of months ago on Facebook I asked for help with the medical expenses of a young guy named Larry, a friend who’d been in a bad motorcycle accident.  For a while now, I’ve been meaning to update you all about what happened.  Here’s a bit of the story…

Larry in the middle with his brother and cousin.

I’ve known Larry since he was twelve when he lived at the boy’s home I used to work at.  If I’d had favourites (which of course I didn’t), he would definitely have been one of them.  He was just a nice kid with a smile for everybody.

He didn’t talk much about his life but  I found out eventually that his mom was in jail so he and his brother had been placed in care.  He didn’t know his dad and all of his other siblings were older and lived out of country.

I didn’t see Larry much after I left the home until about a year and a half ago.  His mom was out of jail and he’d moved into the city to live with her.  After we reconnected he started coming over to the house every week or so to see us.  It wasn’t going great with his mom so I was happy to see him spending time with us and hanging out with the guys.

Then suddenly he was gone and we weren’t sure what had happened.  Turned out that his mom was back in jail and Larry had joined the military to do his obligatory year service because he wasn’t sure what else to do.  I talked with him a few times on Facebook but that was it.

Last spring he showed up in Santa Cruz again.  We didn’t see him as much as before, but I tried to connect with him every few weeks to see how he was doing.  I was worried because he didn’t really seem like himself.  He was much more reserved and quite whenever we had lunch.

Then in September I got a call from a friend of his.  She told us that Larry had been in a serious motorcycle accident and gave us directions to the hospital.  Larry had asked her to contact his friend on Facebook and so she contacted me. 

It was a bit of a God moment because turns out I wasn’t the friend he wanted her to contact.  He was embarrassed about everything that was happening in his life and hadn’t planned to tell me.  So…you can imagine his surprise when I walked through the door of his hospital room.  =) 

As we talked and I started asking questions (which is what I do) I started to get a sense that things weren’t exactly right.  The other fellow in the accident was in the same room as Larry so there was a limit to what we could talk about.  But I could tell there were some problems.

Eventually I found out that Larry was working for what amounted to a group of loan sharks here in the city.  These guys were Columbians who were (are) here in the country illegally.  They’re using drug money from Columbia to finance (very) high interest loans to people who could never get loans from an actual bank.  Larry and his friend were going around collecting interest on the loans…which is what they were doing when they ran their motorcycle into the side of a city bus.

Larry doesn’t remember anything from the accident itself.  He was in a coma for two days and then when he woke up he couldn’t see anything for another day.  His doctor told me over and over that he couldn’t believe that Larry was still alive.  He said he’s seen lots of these types of accidents and the people nearly always die. 

Another God moment was that Larry NEVER used a helmet.  He told me he thought they were too hot.  That day, for whatever reason, he put one on and so he was wearing it when his head connected with the side of the bus.

When we spoke with his doctor we also found out that Larry’s medical bills were over $3500 US.  That’s almost two years wages for most people here.  Larry couldn’t leave until that bill was paid (and he had no money)…but he was also racking up more expenses every day he was in the hospital.  So…a bit of a no win situation. 

By now we knew that Larry was working for these guys, even though we didn’t know all the details at that point.  My fear was that they would pay for his hospital and he would end up very indebted to them.

So I asked on FB if anyone could help us.  I couldn’t really say at that point everything that was happening or the time constraint we were under…just that we needed some help.  And….people were amazing and very generous.  We had the $3500 in just over a day.  When we went to pay his bill and get him out of the hospital, I told Larry that I thought it would be better for him to recuperate with us rather than by himself.  He didn’t argue.  We’d just saved his butt. 

As soon as we got him out of there, I sat him down and had a pretty serious conversation about how dangerous the situation was and that he needed to leave.  I talked to him about the option of moving in with us and to start studying.  He thought about it (but not for too long!) and agreed.  I think he was pretty clear on the fact that God had just given him a second chance.

Since then it’s been amazing to watch the changes in him.  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone blossom the way he has.  He truly is a different kid. 

He’s never really had a dad, so I think he’s enjoying hanging out with me.  We sit in the office in the house and chat about all kinds of things.  He loves laughing and joking and trying to prove (unsuccessfully I might add) that he’s stronger than me.  He’s got toothpicks for arms so…

It’s still rough for him some days though.  The spiritual battle hasn’t abated in his life.  He’s made some good (and difficult) choices since moving in with us trying to move his life in a different direction, but that old life still calls.  He and I have started a weekly one on one Bible study at my house and he’s spent some time talking with a couple of the guys in the house as well, about life and the struggles he’s having.

As well, the Columbians haven’t stopped looking for him.  They called him continuously after the accident, until he finally changed his number.  They’re still angry that he left.  Fortunately they don’t know where we live, but they do work in neighborhoods not that far from us. 

I actually didn’t know all of this (that they were angry about his leaving) until just the other day when it came up in a conversation Larry and I were having.  He was quite nonchalant about it all.  I, on the other hand, was doing my best to remain calm as I pictured a bunch of angry Columbian drug dealers/loan sharks descending on the house.  Too many crazy movies with the guys I think.  It’s what they make us watch. 

If you could continue to pray for Larry and for all of us, that’d be great.  Please pray for protection for all of us and for wisdom and strength for Larry.  For those of you who gave so generously to help Larry with his medical costs, I want you to know that it was money well spent.  You literally saved this kid’s life and sent it in a completely different direction.  God is at work in him in an amazing way.

So thank you all!  I’m going to work at keeping the blog a little more current again, so come back soon!  Our first kid is graduating on Saturday (Roberto the lawyer) so I’ll be sure to post pictures of that!

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God's Answer...

I realize that too far too often I write when things are tough and we need prayer.  But later, when God responds and resolves the situation, I don’t always communicate that.  And so here we are, a month or so after the last crisis and I never wrote about what happened in the end.

It was an interesting few weeks back in August.  It’s difficult when you have to make a decision that you know is going to significantly affect someone’s life.  I’ve had to ask guys to leave the house in the past and it’s never easy.  You don’t want to watch someone lose what is potentially a life changing opportunity.

Obviously I was praying a lot over what I felt I needed to do.  The young guy in question was a good kid and a great friend, but was choosing a lifestyle that was not only destructive to him, it was affecting the rest of the guys in the house.  It was especially difficult for me because this guy was one of our leaders and a huge help in the house. 

My biggest fear was letting my personal feelings interfere with what was best for this guy and what God wanted to do in his life.  It’s easy to look at things from a personal perspective and decide you know what’s right.  I did my best to step back and just let God do His thing.  Having said that, the post below speaks to what I felt in my heart.  I was tired and definitely more than a little frustrated.

And then an amazing thing happened.  God didn’t just work in this young guy’s heart like I’d hoped and prayed for.  He did some significant things in my heart as well. 

I’ve never had a problem trusting God for our physical needs.  Again and again He’s provided for us.  I struggle sometimes though, in trusting what He’s going to do in the lives of the guys I work with.  I’ve never really understood how God’s Will and our own free will work together.  So I sometimes worry and get more frustrated and concerned than I probably should. 

But throughout that week I saw little reminders again and again that God was always going to be faithful no matter what the circumstances. 

A couple of quick examples…I have nearly a thousand friends on Facebook.  One morning I checked

my status feed and two of my completely unrelated friends had posted the same verse only seconds apart.  And both statuses had shown up on my feed.  The verses they wrote spoke to God’s faithfulness and very specifically to what was happening.  I thought, “Yea…that was kind of cool…”

Then a couple of days later another friend wrote me and shared a verse with me.  After thanking her I went back to my feed on Facebook and the first status I saw was that same verse being shared by another friend.  Again, the passage spoke directly to my situation.

And then finally on the Sunday, one of the young guys in our church asked if he could talk to me.  I’d had a difficult weekend with everything going on and really I just wanted to go home.  But I said sure, no problem.  I figured it was just going to be a whatever conversation. 

He took me outside and promptly asked if we could pray before talking.  I was like, “Uh…okay…” Inside my heart was starting to sink and all I could think of was, “Man…what’s gone wrong now?”

After praying, my friend started to share how, all day Saturday he’d felt this frustrating and a deep sadness.  He couldn’t figure out where it was coming from.  There was no reason for it.  He started praying and asking God why this was happening.  Finally in the evening he said that God spoke to his heart and explained that this was a message for me.  God wanted him to understand what I was going through and then to also explain that this was God’s heart for the situation as well. 

He went on to affirm the ministry and what I was doing here (I’d had more than a few “What am I doing wrong?” moments through all of this).  Then the verse he gave me was Matt. 11:28 “Come to

me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

The cool thing about this was that I hadn’t talked to Facu (yes…that’s his name) in over a month.  He

had no idea that I was having any kind of issue at all.  I’m pretty good at keeping my game face on when I’m in public, so as far as he knew, everything was all sunshine and flowers.  But he felt strongly that God was speaking this message to me, so he stepped out in faith and shared it with me.

He had no idea how much it would mean to me.

Back to the situation with our young friend who was leaving the house.  Monday rolled around and this fellow called me to let me know he was packing his things to leave.  So I went over to the house to see him before he left.  I sat there and chatted with him as he gathered his things. 

Finally the moment came and everything was ready.  I asked him if I could pray with him before he left.  He said that would be fine.  I knew that I’d seen God at work in his heart throughout the week and even though I was definitely sad, I felt a peace about the situation. 

After we prayed, my young friend asked me if I wanted to know why everything had happened.  I said of course, if he wanted to tell me.  He proceeded to open up more than he ever had before.  He talked about his life and choices and why he’d done what he’d done.  He asked if there was any chance he could have another opportunity.

I told him that if it was up to me there would be no problem.  But his actions had affected other people in the house as well.  He sat for a moment and then asked if it was alright with me if he spoke with Maribel and the guys and explained that he truly wanted to change his life.  I told him it was okay with me. 

So he did. 

If you know this culture at all, you understand that for a guy here (okay…maybe everywhere…but especially here) talking about personal issues and asking for forgiveness is not something that comes easily.  But that’s exactly what he did.  And everyone agreed that he should be shown grace and given another chance.

Since then?  He’s been a different kid.  Only God truly knows what’s happening in someone’s heart.  But as far as I can see he’s sincerely seeking after a deeper relationship with God.  It’s been pretty cool to see.  He’s much more at peace and there’s a definite joy in him that wasn’t there before.

So that’s what happened.  Thank you for praying!  I know many of you were, and it made a difference.  God was very faithful and we’re experiencing all the blessings that come from that faithfulness.

Thanks for taking the time to read all of this!  I don’t always respond but really appreciated the support and encouraging notes many of you wrote when this was happening. 

Come back soon and I promise it won’t be another month before I write something!   =)

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God is faithful...

I have a feeling this might be one of those rather vague “I can’t exactly talk about what’s going on” posts that don’t really help very much.  But I also feel like I’ve been asking for prayer a lot lately without really responding as to what ended up happening. 

All I can say is bear with me if you can.  Hopefully it’s not going to come across too melodramatic. 

Let me start by saying that in two weeks I’ll be celebrating (in my head anyhow) 20 years of ministry.  Which is beyond weird to me.  I’m pretty sure there were people in my first church that didn’t give me six months when I started.  Huh…maybe in my second church too.  Come to think of it probably in this ministry too.  Funny that…

Over these past two decades (seriously…holy cow) I’ve seen a lot of friends who started out in ministry with me, move on to other things.  Some left because of personal problems.  But others simply said they needed a break for six months or so.  They got “real” jobs and then never went back.  I always wondered about that…how that happens.  I’m not sure I completely understood it. 

Well…until these last couple of weeks.  I think I get it.  Or at the very least, I understand why I might possibly leave ministry.  Let’s be clear here…I’m not leaving ministry.  At least not tonight…or probably tomorrow.  Talk to me Monday and we’ll see.

Speaking only for myself…I’m feeling kind of weary of feeling the responsibility of always trying to fix someone.  Hah…that’s sounds about as egotistical as it comes.  Once again, to be clear, I’m fully aware that it’s only God who fixes people.  A hundred percent I understand this. 

But as a pastor/missionary/person who’s supposed to help people, you’re always thinking about what needs to happen in someone’s life…to discern how you could be used by God to facilitate healing in that person.  What’s the situation…where did the pain come from…what needs to happen for healing to take place. 

And speaking for myself I tend to jump in emotionally with both feet so that probably doesn't help either. 

In reality, it’s true of all of us.  We all have that responsibility to seek to be used by God to serve and minister those who are suffering or struggling.  I suppose as a pastor/missionary/person who’s supposed to help people it just becomes that more intense since it’s your “job” so to speak.

And then, of course, when you choose to live with the people you’ve been called to serve and help…it adds an entirely new level of intensity.

Over the past year and a half I watched a young guy in the house who I care deeply for, and who once felt God calling him to ministry, slowly choose to walk away.  Today I asked him to leave.  Hardest decision of my life.  And that’s all I really have to say about that.

Well…except for this.  I’ve never been more convinced of the faithfulness of God.  He went out of his way to show me He cared and was involved. 

This has been taken out of my hands but it’s still fully in God’s hands.  And if I know anything, I know it’s not the end of the story. 

Thank you for praying.  And if you could please continue to do so.  Lots of difficult and sad days to come.
 

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Prayer....

I've started this post probably three times and then deleted it and started over.  It's tough to know what to say.  In a lot of ways things are improving...and that's encouraging.  But we're still dealing with the consequences of the past few months and that can be difficult.  The good thing is, I (and Maribel as well) feel God's peace in the midst of all of this.  So that helps.  =)

I guess I have my moments though.  I texted my friend the other night and asked her if she ever wished she didn't care so much about the people around her (she's in ministry too).  I was having this weird moment of laughing and joking around on the outside with one of the guys and then feeling that clenching of the heart and stomach when I thought about what had happened and what was still happening in this young guy's life.  In that moment I just wished I didn't really care...or at the very least I wished I could turn the caring off for awhile and just go watch TV or something.

She wrote me back a very wise e-mail that encouraged me and helped me think through a few things.  I think one of the challenges for me is that it never really stops.  It's 24/7 and there's no escaping.  =)  I laugh when I think back to those initial moments of planning for this home and how I thought I was going to be the cool big brother and we'd all live together in harmony and peace.

If I didn't know myself I'd ask myself what I was smoking. 

The reality is...the guys I live with are good guys and good friends.  For the most part they have the desire to change and grow and live differently than they did.  But like all of us, they're products of their pasts and not all of them have been able to move forward the way they (and I) would like.  There are addictions and temptations and sins that still plague them.  We're doing battle with a lot of years of living apart from God.  There are consequences to that.

But there's also victory and freedom.  God is bringing both.  None of us has arrived yet and we (I) need to be reminded of that occasionally.

Tomorrow Maribel will be dealing directly with some of the consequences we're facing.  I (and she) would appreciate it if you could pray.  Wisdom and patience and a sense of God's direction, I think.  As well, for myself if you could pray for a continued sense of God's presence and peace (and wisdom...always wisdom).  For the guys, pray for a renewed passion for Christ and freedom from their pasts. 

Thanks everyone!  I promise that soon I'll post a funny story of some random event in my life.  =) 
   

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Storms and whatnot...

When I left my church in Canada (before coming here to Bolivia) it was a bit of an abrupt and difficult parting of the ways. I didn’t see it coming and it kind of left me reeling. When I think about my years in ministry, there are probably three different times that were my “I’m not sure I still want to do this.” moments. That was one of them. I’m just on the tail end of another.

One night back then, when I was smack in the middle of the worst of my frustrations and hurt, I was driving down to Caronport to visit some friends. Being me, I didn’t get onto the road until nearly midnight, and so at around 1 AM I was somewhere near Bladworth.

For those of you who don’t know Saskatchewan, let me just say that the Saskatoon to Moose Jaw highway is one of the most desolate, boring drives in our province, probably second only to the Swift Current to Regina run. And Bladworth is dead centre in the middle of the worst of that drive to Moose Jaw.

As the highway stretched out in front of me all the way to the horizon, I noticed something. On the right side of the highway the sky was clear and full of stars. The moon was full and so bright that it almost seemed like daylight. I could see every detail of the fields and farms I was passing by.

To the left the entire sky was filled with a huge storm. The clouds were thick and black and every few seconds they lit up with sheets of lightening. It was one of those intense thunderstorms that occasionally sweep across the prairies.

What I noticed was that the highway exactly and neatly split the two scenes. To the left, this incredible storm and then to the right this clear and perfect night sky.

I remember thinking “God, I feel like I’m in the middle of that storm.” The darkness and turmoil described my life at that moment, the anger and pain I was feeling. And I asked God why couldn’t I have the peace and brightness of that clear, moonlit sky to my right. It was so distinctly and dramatically different. Naturally it seemed to me that’s where God was, in the peace of that moonlit night.

I drove a few miles further, mulling this over in my mind, when I glanced over at the storm again. What I saw so surprised me that I actually pulled the car over.

The moonlight was so bright on the right, that it had formed a rainbow in the middle of the storm clouds. The rainbow stretched in a perfect arch from horizon to horizon.

Of course, being the middle of the night, there were no colours. I could see, however, where each ark of colour would normally have been except now they were all various shades of white and grey. They were distinct against the black of the storm clouds. It was one of the most astounding things I’ve ever seen.

The storm continued to rumble and flash but in the middle of it was this thing of beauty and peace.

In the Bible God used a rainbow as the sign of His covenant with Noah after the flood. It meant different things, but I think most importantly it was meant to be a physical reminder to Noah and his family of God’s presence and of His promises to them.

I felt like I was in the middle of that storm. More accurately I felt like my life was that storm. When I asked, God didn’t make the storm just go away. He could have I’m sure. But He knew that wouldn’t be the last storm I’d find myself in. Instead He chose to remind me in a creative and dramatic way that I wasn’t alone in the midst of that storm. His presence was there with me. His promise to never leave me or forsake me hadn’t been broken.

Eventually the storm dissipated and faded away and I continued on my journey. I can’t tell you that my personal storm ended in that moment. But I can tell you that I knew I wasn’t facing it alone.

I’ve gone through my share of storms since then (it’s kind of a requisite in ministry) and God has often reminded me of that experience…that rainbow in the middle of the night. It gives me great assurance that no storm is greater than God’s ability to see us through it.

The storm here is starting to dissipate as well. It’s not over yet and there are still some difficult moments to come I’m sure. It’s amazing how those summer thunderstorms can flair up again just when you think they’re over.

But God is bringing us through it all, and for that I'm thankful. Thanks also to all of you for your prayers. They make a difference and it’s good to know that we don’t stand alone.
 

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Some things I've learned...

The intensity of what’s happening here seems to me to be unique. That the emotions I’m feeling are more raw and overwhelming than they’ve been in the past. That this moment in my ministry is somehow going to define me and the fact that I feel finished actually means that I am.

But yea…reality is…not so much.

It’s true that I’ve never had a run of such difficult situations like I’ve had recently. And it’s also true that I feel emotionally raw and overwhelmed. And it’s absolutely true that if someone offered me a ministry on a beach where no one told me their problems and we just talked about Jesus and drank fruity drinks with little paper umbrellas in them I’d probably be packing my bags right now rather than sitting here writing this post.

But is it the first time I’ve ever felt this way? No…not really. Is it the last time? Oh, I hope so…but probably not. Full-time ministry seems destined to chew you up and spit you out on a fairly regular basis. Or maybe it’s just life that does that. Either way…

I’ve been doing this (full-time ministry) for over twenty years now (oh good grief) and strangely (and probably also contrary to popular opinion) I’ve learned a few things along the way.

Number One: People are lame. The Bible says sinful. I was going to say stupid. I settled in the middle. Suffice to say that we all make dumb, hurtful decisions that negatively affect ourselves and the people around us.

Number Two: It feels like those of us in full-time ministry take the brunt of the effects of those stupid decisions. I’m not saying that people outside of full-time ministry don’t have to deal with other people’s bad decisions. Of course they do. We all have family and friends who are struggling and that affects us. We all know that pain.

But somehow when it’s your “job” to help people who are struggling it feels different (did you notice I started using “struggling” instead of “being stupid”? That’s me working through this…). There are lots of rewarding, “God” moments (which is why we're able to get out of bed in the morning) but there are also lots of discouraging moments which make you want to go drink fruity drinks on the above-mentioned beach.

Number Three: God provides what it is you need to get through those discouraging moments. I’ll be honest…this time around I’m not there yet. I’m not totally sure how to move forward. Every time I think about some of what’s going on my heart aches and my stomach starts to churn. I’m still having sleepless night where my mind gets going and won’t shut off.

But can I see God speaking to me in the midst of that? Yea, I can. Strangely, there are moments I want to deny that and pretend I don’t see it and just continue wallowing in my frustration and misery. I’m funny that way. But absolutely I know that God has been faithful in the past and will be faithful in the future.

Like I said earlier…this isn’t the first time I’ve gone down this road. God has given me some amazing experiences when I’ve needed His assurance and peace. Maybe when there’s a moment I’ll share some of those with you. But for now it’s enough for me to remember and trust.

I was reading through the Psalms the other morning and a passage from Psalm 42 jumped out at me. The night before I read this, I’d only slept for a couple of hours because I couldn’t turn my brain off. I kept trying to tell myself to stop thinking...but that only made it worse.

Psalm 42 verse 11 says this…

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.”

The psalmist writes like there’s two people involved…him and his soul. And he asks his soul why it’s so disturbed inside of him. After what I’d just been through the night before, that resounded within me. Then he tells his soul to put its hope in God because they will yet praise Him, their Saviour and their God.

He doesn’t sound like he's there yet. But he knows he will be.

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