Cultural moments...

      
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Sometimes culture makes me laugh. Sunday night was a good example. If you remember (or if you don’t, just read the previous post) one of the guys here, Ruddy, asked if I would talk to his older brother about his drinking problem. It’s gotten way out of hand and is badly affecting the rest of the family, not to mention this fellow’s two young children.

So...I agreed. Seriously, what else was I going to do? This is causing a lot of pain in the family, and something needs to be done.

I drove over to the house with a fair amount of trepidation. It’s not like I haven’t had these kinds of conversations with people in the past, but this was a guy that I’d met once, two years ago. Somehow I was expected to address his drinking problem and help him understand the seriousness of it.

Yes...awkward would be the word.

One good thing...I did realize fairly early on, that chattiness runs in this family. Ruddy has never had a problem holding a conversation in his life. As it turns out...neither does his brother. The first half hour was mostly me sitting there listening to (and trying to understand) the myriad of stories he was telling me. He’s a very entertaining guy for sure.

Anyhow, in good Canadian fashion, I tried to gently and in a non-offensive manner, steer the conversation in the direction of the problems this guy was facing. We talked about family and his kids, and how important it is to be a good role model, since a father is one of the most important examples a child can have. Yep, he assured me, he understood this and was a great father to his kids. Okay then...

Then we talked about his past and how difficult it was...how he became a Christian and why he left his life on the streets. I tried once again to move towards talking about his drinking problem and so I spoke about how our life changes when we accept Christ, but often there are still issues that need to be dealt with. I was doing my best to be sensitive and gentle but at the same time firm. This young guy again assured me that he knew this and had really dealt with his past and was doing well. Strike two...I was now at a bit of a loss as to how to proceed.

Then Ruddy, who was sitting there listening to everything...as was their mother... interrupted and said, “Well, except for your problem with drinking and getting drunk...”

“Oh yes, except for that.” he says, “That’s really my weakness. I keep getting drunk.”

Well...alright then. Then mom steps in and feigning drinking a bottle and then being drunk, she adds, “Yep, he really has a problem with alcohol.” The young guy solemnly nods again and continues to agree, “Yes, I do...”

So much for all my clever attempts to segue into the topic. With all my Canadian sensitivity out the window, we just ended up talking very openly and honestly about the damage this was doing and how much this fellow was losing because of his choices. The hurt he was causing, not to mention the loss to his relationship with God, which had been quite strong at one point.

In the end it was a good conversation. To those of you who were praying, thanks. I cautioned Ruddy, though, that this was really only a first step. His brother agreed to come to church with us and I hope to connect him with one of the men in the church, to continue to work with him. But it’s going to be a long road, I imagine. It seems like addiction runs in this family. Their father had a serious drinking problem...Ruddy had a terrible problem with drugs, and now his brother. But as I shared with this guy, Ruddy is a good example of what God can do. He’s been clean for over three years, after, as I said, a very serious drug addiction.

Please continue to pray for this young guy. I assured him many times that dealing with this is completely possible, and that with God’s help he can experience freedom.

After talking we had a bite to eat, and of course the stories and pictures of Ruddy as a kid came out. Like most people here, they don’t have too many pictures, but there were a few good ones. I asked to borrow a couple of my favourites, and I scanned them today and tried to clean them up a bit. The quality wasn’t very good, but I was able to get them looking a little bit better. Anyhow, for those of you who know the guys in the house, these pictures are of Ruddy, Sandro, and Sandro’s brother Feliciano. Feliciano is currently studying at a Bible college in Puerto Rico.

Ruddy in the park where he lived and worked as a shoe shiner...

Ruddy and Feliciano, with their shoe-shine boxes...

Ruddy, Feliciano and Sandro....

Oh yea, I almost forgot...my favourite part of talking to Ruddy's family.  His nickname when he was a little kid, was "Pancita" or "Little Stomach"...  I just about fell off my chair I laughed so hard.  In general, with skin tone and everything, it's difficult for a Bolivian to blush.  But, as I discovered that night...still totally possible!  =)

Thanks everyone!


PS  And one last funny cultural moment. I forget sometimes that I live in a predominantly Catholic country. Tonight I was reminded. I was in line at Burger King, and there was only myself and the guy behind me waiting, so only one till was open. Finally the other guy in line, in a very dramatic and desperate voice, said...

“For the love of Mary and her Son our saviour will you please open another line before I die!”

It made me smile...