I'm generally a lot better with the funny stories than I am with the heart stuff here on the blog. The heart stuff happens, but I enjoy telling the funny story better. It's tough sharing the hard stuff.
I know a lot of you who read this are parents. I imagine most parents have had the experience of watching their kid do something they know is going to cause them pain. You want to intervene...but how do you do that exactly? When someone starts closing doors, it's tough to stick your foot in there. At least without losing a couple of toes in the process.
As most of you know, I kind of got dropped into the situation of being "Dad" to a group of ex-street kids. For the most part I don't always feel like I know what I'm doing. There are lots of days when it's fun and rewarding and I get to see God doing great things in the lives of the guys. I see them learning to make good decisions and how to move past the pain of their pasts.
Then there are the other days. The days when you see someone slowly moving down a road that you know is going to be destructive and hurtful for them. You want to help, and yet you have no idea what to do. It's tough because, with ten guys here and another half dozen who we help outside the house, there always seems to be someone struggling with something.
Right now it's a kid who I care about a lot. Obviously I appreciate all the guys here and would do whatever I needed to, to help them. But there are those certain kids who you connect with just a little more deeply and who mean just a little bit more to you. I can see incredible potential in this young man's life. In the past few months, God has spoken clearly to him and has really revealed Himself to this young guy.
But lately something's been happening in this kid's life. I have my suspicions as to what it is, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it. I (and Maribel) are praying and I know that God is at work. But at the same time I know people make bad decisions and often don't listen to either God or the people who care for them. It's never the end of the story, but there can be some difficult consequences. I don't want to see this kid have to suffer any of those consequences.
At any rate...it's been a sad couple of days. My young friend is angry and frustrated and feeling (what I'm pretty sure is) a lot of guilt. Please pray for him...that the Holy Spirit would guide him and convict him, and bring him back to a place of obedience and peace. That Maribel and I would know how to best support him and encourage him, and at the same time help him understand the consequences of his sin. For me, I really want to trust and know God's peace through all of this. I tend to always want to try and figure out how to fix a situation, when in reality it's only God who can do that.
Thanks everyone for praying. I appreciate it.
I know a lot of you who read this are parents. I imagine most parents have had the experience of watching their kid do something they know is going to cause them pain. You want to intervene...but how do you do that exactly? When someone starts closing doors, it's tough to stick your foot in there. At least without losing a couple of toes in the process.
As most of you know, I kind of got dropped into the situation of being "Dad" to a group of ex-street kids. For the most part I don't always feel like I know what I'm doing. There are lots of days when it's fun and rewarding and I get to see God doing great things in the lives of the guys. I see them learning to make good decisions and how to move past the pain of their pasts.
Then there are the other days. The days when you see someone slowly moving down a road that you know is going to be destructive and hurtful for them. You want to help, and yet you have no idea what to do. It's tough because, with ten guys here and another half dozen who we help outside the house, there always seems to be someone struggling with something.
Right now it's a kid who I care about a lot. Obviously I appreciate all the guys here and would do whatever I needed to, to help them. But there are those certain kids who you connect with just a little more deeply and who mean just a little bit more to you. I can see incredible potential in this young man's life. In the past few months, God has spoken clearly to him and has really revealed Himself to this young guy.
But lately something's been happening in this kid's life. I have my suspicions as to what it is, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it. I (and Maribel) are praying and I know that God is at work. But at the same time I know people make bad decisions and often don't listen to either God or the people who care for them. It's never the end of the story, but there can be some difficult consequences. I don't want to see this kid have to suffer any of those consequences.
At any rate...it's been a sad couple of days. My young friend is angry and frustrated and feeling (what I'm pretty sure is) a lot of guilt. Please pray for him...that the Holy Spirit would guide him and convict him, and bring him back to a place of obedience and peace. That Maribel and I would know how to best support him and encourage him, and at the same time help him understand the consequences of his sin. For me, I really want to trust and know God's peace through all of this. I tend to always want to try and figure out how to fix a situation, when in reality it's only God who can do that.
Thanks everyone for praying. I appreciate it.
5 comments:
Parenting is only a trip to the beach 50% of the time. It is hard. And even harder for you for this one reason: Other parents have the added advantage of having lived with their kids for a good number of years. In those years when they are small we got to hug them, pray for them and love on them. When they grow into young adults and beyond they may not let us hug them and love on them so much (there is where the broken toes come in) but at least they can look back and remember that warmth and secrity of a hug from Mum or Dad. Praying with us. And being comforted by us as small children. Your boys don't have those far away secure memories from their childhoods. You are building them now in adulthood. Trying to break down barriers and teach peace and forgiveness where previously they have had none. You are doing a good job. You are making an impossible job POSSIBLE because you can do all things through Him who gives you strength. You have an immense amount of prayer support. God will hear us. And this too shall pass. May your home feel sincere love and warmth today. xox
Thanks Kate...it was good to read this... =)
having three children and having been a prodigal daughter, i understand this. i am praying for you and your "son".
Yeah...who would have thunk I'd go ahead and like be a grown up, right?
OK--here is our thinking on parents/ kids/foster kids stuff. And it worked . If we(parents) are providing part or most support financially to the kid, then we remain in a bossy position. No matter the age. Bottom line, they really knew we had their best interest at heart and kinda accepted it. Sure they snuck around and did stupid stuff, but they usually found out it was stupid. So it made us look better.
It was a trade off, they accept financial support, they must accept some bossiness from us. We talked about what was a moral issue and what was not. Stuff like dyeing your hair green was not a moral issue, you get the idea. And on the gray areas like the subject of tattoos, we told them OK if you get one , you must get TWO. Get the one you want and then another on your forehead that says "STUPID" ...and they got the "Pretend you are the hiring lady at human resources and you have a tattoos kid and a non-tattooed applicant to choose from..." speech.
And on moral issues we pretty much "laid down the line". And reminded them that paying for school on their own would be really hard.
Be bossy ! If they respect you and your wisdom, it is OK. And may save the kids a lot of grief.
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