TLC presents..."Baby Stories!"

Well...remember two posts ago when I said I wished I had something funny or “nifty” to tell you? I think the following qualifies. You can let me know...

Most of you probably know that we’ve been helping this young pregnant (then) soon to be mom. Her brother is a friend of mine who’s living on the streets. He called me up one night, fairly desperate, looking for help for his sister. Natalia was in the ninth month of her pregnancy and by law here, wasn’t allowed to work. So she had no money and no food. I went and picked her up and took her to the hotel where she’d been staying and paid for her room. We’ve been helping her out since then, waiting for the baby to be born. These past few days she’s been staying with Maribel’s family so she wouldn’t be alone.

Anyhow...we knew she was getting closer and closer, but we hadn’t quite gotten around to getting what we needed for the baby. Her due date wasn’t until the end of the month. Yesterday I called Maribel (the lady who works with us) and right away she said we needed to go buy stuff for the baby now, ‘cause it was on its way. I was all like, “I’ll be there in two minutes!” No, no she tells me...the doctor said she wouldn’t be ready until one or two in the afternoon.

Promptly at 2 o’clock we pulled up to the clinic. I dropped the girls off, parked the truck and hurried back. Now, understand something...I’ve been some pretty crazy places in my life. Maximum security prisons...drug dens...under bridges hanging out with street kids...that kind of stuff. But, I’m pretty sure nothing has thrown me off, quite the way walking into that waiting room did. My feet just kind of subconsciously slowed down and stumbled over themselves.

What I hadn’t realized was that this was a clinic just for pregnant girls or new moms. So the place was packed with large ladies and/or crying kids. Like forty or fifty of them. Even the security guard was a lady. I did eventually see one male doctor and another young guy hunkered down behind the front door. He looked ready to make his escape at a moment’s notice.

I awkwardly found my chair, pulled out my book and got myself comfortable...ready for the inevitable wait I knew was coming. Two minutes later the girls were back. She’s not ready, Maribel tells me. We need to come back at six.

Off we went to Maribel’s house so our young friend could rest. Promptly at 6 PM we were back at the clinic. Nope, the doctor said...come back at 10. Of course.

As I slowly drove back across town (once again) to Maribel’s house, I was laughing to myself how I hadn’t gotten to have that crazy, adrenaline pounding, heart pumping drive to the hospital experience that you see on TV. I was kind of sad. I was sort of wishing I’d had the chance.

A wise man (or more likely woman) once said, “Be careful what you wish for...” Truer words have not been spoken. At 9:15 PM I was just about to leave my house when my phone rang. Maribel was gone to a meeting, so it was Maribel’s mom and she was talking fast! I managed to catch “contractions”, “fast” and “here”. I may have missed 97% of what she said, but the combination of those three words was burned into my brain. I went flying out of my house and laid rubber all the way across town.

When I arrived at the house, they were waiting for me on the sidewalk. As Natalia climbed into the truck, she was puffing and crying and was obviously in the middle of a major contraction. I tried to be comforting as I drove, and eventually she calmed down and I could see that the contraction had passed.

And then a few blocks later another one started.

I was like, “HO-LEE LICK! That was so not two minutes!”

The next few minutes kind of blur together in my mind. I know I started out praying “Oh Lord please no not in my truck!” but that quickly deteriorated into, “Oh God seriously no!” which eventually became “No no no no!” I’m not sure but I think I might have been timing those “No’s” to the huffing and puffing going on in the passenger seat. I am sure I threw in the occasional “Seriously God!” in there.

So there I was, hands sweating, hunched over my steering wheel, driving like ol’ Mario Andretti himself. I was weaving and swerving, honking my horn, flashing my lights.  I showed some serious skills people.  All the while calmly telling Natalia that we would be there soon, while voices screamed in my head, “SERIOUSLY! NOT IN THE TRUCK!”

We screeched up to the clinic and I went barrelling around the help Natalia out of the truck. An old security guy ambled up to truck and asked, “First baby?” I was like, “YES!!” To which he calmly replied, “Okay then follow me.” and then slowly turned and ambled back towards the building. I was like, where the heck are the rushing attendants and the gurney and the people yelling medical terminology?! The nurse sitting by the front door on her break with her feet up didn’t even move. She gave us a nod and a smile as went by and then went back to doing whatever it was she was doing before we got there.

They all disappeared into the depths of the clinic where you couldn’t have paid me enough money to follow. One of my friends had hassled me earlier on Facebook about being in the delivery room when the baby was born. But you know...there were a few people already ahead of me in that line. Maribel... her mom... Noelia or Viviane (our pastors' wives)... a dozen or so women from our church... any guy in our church who’d already been through this with their kid... any random lady from the waiting room... pretty much the entire population of Santa Cruz, really.

So, I was feeling pretty much in the clear on that one.

Maribel’s mom came back out a few minutes later with a list of things we need to go buy at the pharmacy. That’s standard practice here...whatever medical procedure is going down, family or friends are expected to run buy whatever is needed. Rubbing alcohol was one of the things on the list...to be expected I would think. The three garbage bags on the list...not as expected. I had a bad feeling about that one.

I went and picked up Maribel and we headed back to the hospital. Then I took Maribel’s mom home, as Maribel took over the waiting.  Total number of trips across the city so far that day?  Nine...in case anyone was keeping track. Maribel told me to go home since the doctor was now saying it was probably going to be 4 AM before the baby was born. Ha...so much for nearly killing us numerous times in my high speed race across Santa Cruz.

I was home and just nicely tucked into my bed when the phone rang and Maribel informed me the baby had been born and could I please come pick her up and take her home (Maribel...not the baby). Off I went again.

Sure enough, Maribel came out of the hospital carrying a little, black garbage bag of...something. I was pretty sure I knew what it was. Maribel confirmed that it was in fact the placenta. The doctor told her that we should dig a hole and burry it in our garden. Seriously? Maribel just shrugged and said, “I don’t know either...”

Suffice to say that I wasn’t too psyched on a bag of placenta buried in my backyard. So after dropping Maribel off, I disposed of it in my own little way on the way home. I tossed it in a dumpster.  If that wasn’t the right thing to do, I’m sorry. But it was 3:30 in the morning and I wasn’t thinking all that clearly. I’d never had a bag of placenta in my truck before.

This morning we went and saw mom and baby, and they’re both doing great. She’s a cutie all right. They’ll be out tomorrow. And don’t bother asking me the baby’s name, she doesn’t have one yet. And may not for a few weeks. And then her name might get changed a few weeks after that. Besides, Natalia had been told she was having a boy and we only just found out last week that it was, in fact going to be a girl. So all the names she was thinking about no longer apply.

Anyhow, please feel free to pray for mom and baby. Once she gets back on her feet, the real fun begins. We’re looking for a room for her to rent (hopefully near a family from the church) and then I’ll be buying a bed and baby clothes and whatever else they need. Lots of fun!  =)

Thanks for praying everyone! Just to be clear, by the way...this was a one-time deal and I’m not starting a ministry to unwed mothers.

Just to be clear.